gone

http://trickmi.tumblr.com/

hold on

"May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find in your tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays."


I never thought of myself as a patient person. But now that i think about it, i've been waiting, and will be waiting for a long time. More like hoping; for something better to come along. Something or someone more. Maybe i take a lot for granted. I know my life is amazing, but it has been missing something up to this point, but i'm still patiently waiting.


BUT, it's all good. It will take time. AND I don't think life has ever been better than this summer.

laughter passes the time. so does lifeguarding.

LET'S BE DEEP

Around cupertino the only truly beautiful views are city lights, and i'm getting kind of sick of them. I miss beaches and sunsets and palm trees and water that just goes on forever. I'm sick of the city lights, sketch benches, and expansive views of the bay. Not cause they stopped being beautiful, but cause i ruined them for myself. I've allowed myself to go up to these places for the wrong reasons, with the wrong people. I HAVE USED AND ABUSED THEM. Up until recently, these places were my bubbles of solace in cupertino. Places to go, sit my butt down, stay still, and just come back down to earth. Where i felt like all my problems disappeared, or if they didn't i could have someone tag along and help me banish them. I'd only be willing to share with someone special to me, someone who would be willing to come back down with me, or someone who needed my help. Away from all the jokes, college fears, gossip, foolishness, and worries. I gotta stop smiling sometimes right? (: I'd go to these places to just slow down time for a little bit, and i would almost always be with a someone. But in the past few weeks it's just been, "I'm bored lets go up _____." Do not like. Do not like going up for no reason and taking the view for granted. Going up and being loud, talking about pointless crap that just... disrespects the view. Do not like going up with people who don't mean too much to me. Sounds mean but theres probably only one person that falls in that category, so don't fret if youre reading this. I guess it's not too late to save my bubbles of solace, so I vow not to go up to one of these places with more than 3 people including me, someone who i barely know, for no point at all, or if the only reason is that i'm bored.

I guess all this leads to the deep, who are my real friends blah blah mushy gushy.
Life isn't short. Whoever said that died early, or had a terrible memory. Life is long, treacherous, full of obstacles, and crammed with people. Relationships build and fall, and the worst thing about them is that they have to end at some point. There's always an end. Actually, not necessarily a complete cut-off, but all relationships will meet a declining slope. I hate it. Close friends will leave, and maybe youll get to see them every few months, but it won't ever be the same. Maybe you'll meet them again in a few years, maybe you'll end up living with an old friend, but even then theres an inevitable decline. I'd rather not think about how i may never see some good friends again, but i can't help it. I am no pessimist (anymore haha). But i really can't see a good side to this (for me). I sound selfish. I am still happy for everyone though, not cause i have to be, but cause i genuinely am. As an optimist though, i will do my best to keep as close to those who leave, for my own sake. ha no one has even really left yet. this year will be bad, but next year will be terrible.

that wasn't too deep. the worst is yet to come!

wow this whole thing was really depressing.
on a happier note, "Every calendar's days are numbered."
ha. ha. get it.

i need to go to hawaii soon.

what are you doing on 12/12/12

Summer Job.

The one thing that EVERYONE looks forward to, wishes would come earlier, and wants to last forever is summer. (Exception for "EVERYONE" : summer before your junior year)

I can safely say that this summer will be the best summer since i was born. Next year might be even better though (: This past week i've been stuck at inservice training for work from 9:00AM-3:00PM, EVERYday. Sounds like a nightmare right? Well before you start feeling sorry for me, let me go into a bit more detail. On Monday, I was getting paid while eating a free lunch. Heres a hypothetical situation; Lets say i came in on monday hoping i WOULD have awkward turtle coworkers, and tyrannical, octogenarian bosses. IF this were what i was thinking, i would have been let down IMMENSELY. See what i did there? Did i confuse you? oops.
To clarify:
I couldn't have asked for better coworkers, or better bosses. This summer job is going to be SICK. This whole week of training has been more enjoyable than some summer camps i've been to, and i get PAID the whole time.

I also was being paid today while eating: Two cheeseburgers (grilled onions, tomato, lettuce, bbq sauce, thick pickles), giant scoops of potato salad, giant scoops of macaroni salad, normal salad, chips&salsa, and a cookie.

I<3 my job.

I'll end this post on a positive note; i have some complaints about summer, but i'm feeling a bit oblivious right now.

What a year.

WELL i guess it's time to reflect on how my school year was.
To be honest I don't remember the beginning of my junior year at all. BUT, this is my sad attempt at reminiscing.. if you can call it that. It's sad cause I'm just going to list what i remember

- FIRST DAY OF JUNIOR YEAR- don't remember it at all. honestly.

Okay. I'm going to stop this list thing cause i can already tell its going to fail miserably, so here come long and random blurbs on what I DO remember.

Study sessions for Bio AP, they started out productive but soon just lead to.... me drawing caricatures of people, catching flies with my hands, guys complaining about girls (when the girls weren't there) and everyone doing everything but bio, and apush. But these "study sessions" met their slow demise as a certain event/person came along. If you're reading this, I hope you're at least a little close to me, THIS IS PERSONAL STUFF MAN! So going along with my hopes, i won't talk about this event/person here. If you know, you know. BUT i will tell you the lesson i learned from it: Never let love get in the way of your friendships. NO i wasn't in love, its just a generalization. Whatever. You get the point. That's what stopped our study sessions, and the aftermath that followed, was nothing close to worth it.

AM LIT HONORS. What a story. In the weeks before the first day of school, my head almost exploded trying to decide whether or not i should drop lit honors and take regular lit. New me would beat old me with a fat stick for even thinking such thoughts. From the mouth of Elliot Yamin, " One word, all i can say is amazing." Ha, how cheesy. I learned more, and laughed more in this class than any previous class. None even come close. Not only from the teacher, but from the environment, fellow students, and those few child prodigies. What did i learn? Yoga positions. Offensive hand signals. The worst swear words. The woes of the Korean race. The extent to which girls will go to attack each other. How to survive the most awkward situations ever. Yea, theres still a lot more but for the sake of your time, and mine, I'll stop. I DID actually learn a lot of stuff about literature, but who wants to hear about that stuff (no one, if you do, leave now).

BIOLOGY AP. I'll start off by warning any female not to read this. WHAT A FREAKIN' FUN CLASS. BOOTYLICIOUS. checking out the teacher (NOT ME)
"HEY MS. TSAI ____ WANTS TO GO TO JUNIOR PROM WITH YOU"
____: "uhhhhhhh...."

Sticking papers with vulgar phrases on people's backs, how mature of us.
" I like them big and black" (On someone's back)
Ms Tsai walks by.... "OH MY, NO BOYS YOU CAN'T DO THIS"

HAHAHAHA i'm laughing just thinking of this stuff.

fosho.

Whew, I think I got the long stuff out of the way. Now just random thoughts.

Waking up early and getting together to get ready on rally days. Face paint, hairspray, and matching clothes.

Shaving my head... worst decision ever, but i am considering a mohawk after senior portraits.


I hate to not continue on with this post, but my head hurts from trying to recall everything that happened. ERGO... I'm done with this reminiscing mojojo.

Memories are best recalled spontaneously, in the near(or far) future, with the people you made them with. I'll leave it that way.

Blogging?

I made this blog a few months ago, but never got around to filling anything in, thanks to junior year.

I'll get around to it sometime. Hopefully.